O'Charlie Day..

Our morning revolved around waiting for Charlie to call, and tell us when he'd be visiting today. Once we got Charlie's call, the afternoon revolved around waiting for Charlie to come, and not get in the middle of anything we couldn't immediately put down when he arrived.

We agreed on four o'clock, give or take an hour for Charlie's sake. We tried a casual setting in lawn chairs out on the back deck, but the red slowly creeping up my neck and into my cheeks kept me well aware that this was no social call.

Charlie had a stack of questions in his hand, and spent the better part of the three hours that followed, teaching us just how we were to answer those questions for our depositions next week, with bully lawyers, in front of a camera, under the magnifying glass, and on the spot. Listen to the question. Understand the question. No volunteering information. No guessing. If you didn't see it, hear it or feel it with your own three senses.. you can't answer any questions that follow about it.

Poor Dave got asked a great many questions about the accident and the days directly following the event. He couldn't answer a single one of them with answers that he experienced himself because he wasn't even awake for them. Dave learned how to say I don't know. And Amy learned how to sit there and keep her mouth shut and not supply the answers for him. Dave's questions.. are not Amy's questions.

We were instructed on hair style, what to wear, color, and type right down to collars and buttons. After a little nervous fidgeting from me, Charlie assumed, very cleverly, that I didn't have the neccesary clothing or the means to get them. He offered to pay for the things we needed, but I rejected his offer. He assured me that it was well within the limits of a lawyer's job to dress his clients appropriately for court precedings, and still I said no. Charlie eventually relented, and now I'm suddenly kicking myself for being too stubborn for my own good, and left scrambling to figure out how to get Dave and I each two new, and very specific outfits by the beginning of next week.

I was a little startled to learn that the deposition school Charlie talked so fluently about a month ago, started.. and ended today out there on Mom's back deck. Four hours seemed like a warm up to me.. and I'm not entirely sure I feel confident in myself. Ready, or not.. the big day(s) will be here soon. There will be an entire day to interrogate Dave, and an equally distressing but separate day to interrogate me. Charlie says we'll be fine. I'm just trying to focus on trusting him at this point.

Every day that goes by here.. I try not to think about my life, our past, our future, the difficulties, setbacks, and the alterations that have come. Numb gets me through until tomorrow like nothing else can. When I think, I dwell, and when I dwell my mood goes downhill really, really fast. When Charlie is here, ALL we talk about is our past, the accident, the days leading up to the accident, the days immediately following the accident.. and the future that, (while sure to happen, thankfully), is much more grim a picture than we used to paint for ourselves. Charlie's job as a lawyer is to pick open old wounds, and my job as a client is to let him. It's just hard to pull the stitches closed again when he goes.

Since Charlie left a couple hours ago, I've been a mess, and can't seem to remember where I misplaced that false front I always have handy. I know I'll find it. I have to. I'm not a very happy person when it falls off. The next week is going to go by SO fast. I have a lot to do before it gets here, and a whole lot to get right in my mind first. It should prove to be interesting.

Dave.. is fine, and unconcerned.

We were planning on showering and getting to bed early tonight since we have church in the morning.. but Tina just called at ten o'clock at night and asked me to watch my step-nephew until tomorrow sometime. I'm not exhuberantly thrilled with the idea, but that's what family does, I suppose. We'll miss church now, babysitting until mid-day tomorrow, and that just makes me sad. Dalton will be here soon, so I've got to get the couch made up for him.

Thank You for joining us again this evening, and until next time.. Much Love, Many Hugs, and Good Night to You All.