Back From The Depths..

It's been an exceptionally varied time for Dave and I this week. The first half was a blur for me, as pain truly got the best of me. The tooth pain I experienced all month intensified to a brand new level of miserableness for me, and my body had just had enough. I wasn't able to do much at all, so I stayed close to home, and rested as much as possible. Unfortunately, that meant that there wasn't anything for me to write about several days in a row, and I didn't have the energy for updates even if something had actually happened to write about. I do sincerely apologize for going so long without explaining that though. I do hope you'll all forgive me.

Fortunately for me, (and the world of intense pain I was in), my compassionate new dentist bumped the strength of my pain medication up a bit to get me through my final stretch until my root canal. I was able to find the relief I needed to make it at last and while there was still much pain to be felt over the last few days, at least when I was ABLE to take my medication.. it was a manageable level of hurt.

On Tuesday of this week, our days got much busier, very quickly when we were surprised with a visit from our lawyer, Charlie. He told us we needed to move quickly, and explained to us very carefully that we were nearing the last hurdle on our settlement from the establishment who's negligence lead to the events of Dave's accident. We went over many documents and made some final calls on a couple of decisions that needed to be made. Charlie told us we would need to schedule an important court date for the following afternoon in South Bend, Indiana.. (which is very nearly a five hour drive, each way, from where we are), but it was necessary. It's a good thing he didn't tell us the details of what would transpire until we got there, lest I might have been too nervous to show up.

We had to leave by eight in the morning Wednesday morning, in order to make it to Charlie's law firm by one o'clock that afternoon, and to the courthouse by two. Dave was perfectly content to sit in the boardroom in a big, leather chair and partake of the goodies in a massive bowl of chocolate on the table though. He was momentarily embarrassed at one point though when Charlie made him laugh, and he choked pretty badly on his water. It was actually the first time Charlie had gotten to see one of these common occurrences in our life. Somehow, Dave is very skilled in hiding his injury setbacks from people who don't spend a great deal of time with him. Those outside the people who live with him, so very seldom get to see what we get to see on a daily basis. He wasn't able to hide the water and slobber dribbling down his nice church shirt on this particular afternoon though, I'm afraid.

We waited for the judge for almost a half an hour since we were anxious to be on time, and quite early. It was a very small proceeding with just a judge, two attorneys, a stenographer, and Dave and I.. but it was very intense all the same. We were sworn in, and asked several questions about the accident, and the settlement itself by both our lawyer, and the lawyer of the owners of the bar. We were all on pins and needles as we tried to convince the judge that Dave's money he would receive would be best placed into a trust fund, and the judge was well within his rights to turn us down.

It's a very complex issue, and the many details would be too many to add into my update, but essentially.. this is a necessary step in order for Dave's money to be protected, so that it would be safe from the grubby hands of medicaid, medicare, and the united states government, (not to mention a hundred other bill collectors, and collection agencies). It will not be taxed. It's not a perfect situation for many reasons, but it does serve the greatest good for Dave and his future. The judge was able to see that Dave wouldn't be getting anywhere near enough money to sustain him for the remainder of his days, (especially if he's not ever able to work again), and that consequently some provisions would be needed to help us make what little there will be to last for as long as we possibly can. The judge therefore granted our bid, and agreed that Dave's portion of the settlement would be placed into an irrevocable trust for the remainder of it's lasting abilities. This is good news. This will mean that we will have a financial adviser and acting trustee for as long as this money lasts. This means that any time Dave needs money for a purchase, he will need to ask for it, and it will need to be approved. We're trying to get used to this idea. I think it will be very humbling to not have full control over your own money, and have to ask for it when you need something, along with the risk of actually being told No!? I'm afraid it's just something we'll have to get used to though. I'm certain corporations would take and take and take until every penny was gone if we didn't do it this way. Sometime next week we will meet our trustee, and he will explain more of the details of how this is going to work. They will go over a budget with us, and we will find out what we will be receiving on a monthly basis.

Separately, I was entitled to a share of the settlement, but unlike Dave's portion.. mine would be taxed and taxed heavily. Therefore Charlie and I agreed that I would take the least amount legally possible so that the remainder would stay safe from taxation at the ridiculous 35% that mine was taxed at. The good news to be had here is that mine will not go into a trust, and I will be able to get that within the next couple weeks. The bad news is, I have the happy task of paying off the nice amount of debt we had prior to Dave's accident, such as student loans, credit card bills, and the like.. since bills like that just won't be manageable on a very tight trust budget in the future. The small amount that will be left will sustain us in food and necessities until we are able to meet our future head on in the next few months. Wednesday afternoon was a very good day for hospitals, surgeons, therapists, insurance companies and my lawyer, as soon, they will all have their promised monumental share of the proverbial pie. For two hours after our court appearance we sat and signed numerous forms regarding that trust, and signed checks, and various written agreements. When everything was finalized we began our long journey home. I had promised Charlie the night before that I would be clear-headed and fully coherant, and at his request I forgoed my pain medication for the day. By the time we hit the road come sundown, I was ravaged with pain, and could barely tolerate it. We stopped as soon as possible to get a bite to eat so that I could have a pill, but once it gets that bad.. it's usually quite awhile and several pills later before I'm comfortable again. It was a personal sacrifice that I had to make, and while I was absolutely miserable, I was okay with that.

Today wasn't quite as busy, but just as much filled with pain. I was scheduled for my root canal this afternoon, and once again I was asked not to take my pain medication. My appointment wasn't until three, and on top of that compounded pain, there was a great deal of jittery nerves. I was not looking forward to my first root canal at all. Fortunately, I believe I made the right decision to switch dentists. Dr.S was so very kind, and compasionate today, and made every effort within his power to be gentle with me. He talked me through every step, and with a careful hand gave me the injections I had been fearing. He distracted me with cheek massage as he gave me the first two, and skillfully waited until the effect was substantially noticeable before giving me the other two which I didn't feel at all. He asked me at every turn how I was feeling, and I was grateful for it. Especially within the first minute of drilling, and cold water, because while I was quite numb on the exterior, my nerve has been through so much this month that I still very much felt it.

Unfortunately, we had to have an alternative method of numbing from underneath my tooth, and he said there just wasn't any way he could make it not hurt, but he would try to make it as gentle as possible for me. I recieved a couple minutes of pressure anethesic, and then recieved another three injections in the roof of my mouth so that I would be numb enough for the two hours to come. I won't lie, those last few injections really did hurt, but I knew I was in for much more pain if I didn't stop him and allow myself to get fully numb before we got too deep into it that we couldn't go back. I am happy with the decision he made, and for the remainder of the procedure, a dull ache was the only pain I felt. I was also glad to know about the handy aide of a bite block. I am always so fearful of not having my mouth open enough that I overexaggerate and overextend, and much to my own detriment. I was surprised how little room Dr.S actually needed, and a bite block made me so much more comfortable than I would have been otherwise.

As far as root canals have come, they still aren't entirely pleasant experiences. With a bite block in my mouth, and a rubber dam and it's frame suffocating me from the outside, along with various tools inside my mouth as well as hanging off my cheeks, it was most definitely an experience I would like to avoid again, if I can. There was a great deal of scrapping, and drilling, and grinding, and digging going on, not to mention x-rays every fifteen minutes as we progressed. I was relatively comfortable through the entire appointment, but I'm not entirely sure what happened after that. Maybe I should have gone straight home, but we stopped for groceries on the way home, and as I walked through the soup isle I was blasted with an intense world of pain with the shortest notice I've ever experienced. I felt so bad that I couldn't even bear to keep my eyes open on the way home. I managed to make it from the van to the house without incident, bypassing everything and heading straight to my bed. I couldn't tolerate light, sound or movement for at least two hours, and just.. slept. I'm back on pain medication now, and starting to feel a little bit better. I only have four left though, so I'm a little concerned about that and I'm really hoping that I feel a great deal better by morning.

The novacain has worn away, but I'm still a bit puffy and swollen. I'm still noticing a bit of cold sensitivity, and I'm hoping that will fade away within the next couple days. Dr.S is concerned, judging from the x-rays.. that the second filling I had done might also need a root canal if my pain persists. I'm truly hoping he's wrong, because I just don't think I can do another one, especially so soon. I'm also worried that I didn't get my crown put on today as well. I wasn't aware that they weren't done within the same appointment. It makes sense, because if there's still pain, more work would need to be done, and the expensive crown would be ruined and wasted, but Dr.S has encouraged me to be extremely cautious, and now has me worried about the fragility of the shell of a tooth I'm left with. It could break with the slighest pressure or miss-bite. I have my appointment to get my crown put on in two weeks, should everything go right. I'm trying to remain positive, but it's just so rare in my life that everything goes right. Keep your fingers crossed for me. I don't want to accidently shatter my tooth, because honestly.. I don't even know what happens then.

I'm really worn out after the last three days of stress and pain, and still not feeling all that well, so I'm heading to bed as soon as possible. Dave has his appointment tomorrow with the oral surgeon for his final extraction, so please keep him in your thoughts. He's tough as nails, and I'm sure he'll be just fine, just as he always is, but good thoughts and well wishes never hurt. Thank You for joining us this week, and until next time.. Much Love, Many Hugs and Good Night to You All.