Festively Yours...

It's been ridiculously busy around the house the last week. I suppose it's pretty much the same everywhere for the holidays though. We had our big Thanksgiving dinner at the aunt's house last night. It's always so nice to get the whole family together. A big part of me loves the hectic chaos of a room squished too full with people I love, so no complaints here.

Mom and I made noodles to take. I made cookies, (naturally), lol.. and our new favorite thing to make, vanilla candy coated pretzel rods. They're simple enough to make, but it's insane how big a hit they are. I may just make them forever. Well, at least until the new thing comes along. I had to force people to start eating my cookies. I always hear the same thing. They're too pretty to eat. It boggles my mind, because I sure didn't make them to waste them. Once I got everyone munching though, there was no stopping them.

There were pretty yellow ones too, but apparently they were all eaten, lol.

I fell in love with my cousin's new Yorkie puppy, Bentley. Her fiance Jake bought him for her so she wouldn't be lonely while he's in Kuwait for the next year, and he's just the sweetest boy. I tried stealing him out of there, but Penny wasn't having it, lol. My sister and brother in law threw a bit of a fit, telling me that I HAVE a puppy, I just have to take her home. They mean Drama, of course.. my favorite of the new litters in the jack russel crew. I can talk a great game, but I can never make them understand that my lungs and eyes can tolerate ten yorkies over one jack russle any day. My adoptive brother, Rodney doesn't help though, because his wife's yorkie just added three new additions to the world too, and one of those are as good as mine too, but I just can't. I need my life back before I'd even consider it. A home, my own fur-kids back in my own care, and a bit of normalcy or No puppy. It breaks my heart, but that's the way it's gotta be. No one around here seems to understand that wanting one desperately is easy, but being responsible takes a little pain.

Ah Pain. I got three of my teeth filled a week ago. They've been cold sensitive every since, and makes it a challenge to eat on my right side. Unfortunately, with the root canals on the left side, and gums that are likely forever sensitive to chewing, it's also hard to chew comfortably on my left side. I think one bad dental decision has cost me quite a lot, and it's been pretty disappointing to me lately. I'm sure, with time, I'll learn to adapt, but I'm still pretty bitter about the entire mess. The biggest pain is definitely in the pocket book. With all that Dave and I have done in a dentist's office the last several months, our dental insurance is completely maxed, and everything is full price and comes right out of our pocket up front. It's impossible how much they charge for that stuff, and I'm not a fan. It's getting old very quickly, and I am sorely tempted to cancel my last two appointments, and just focus on getting Dave's palatal lift appliance.

Speaking of that, Dr. Lalonde hasn't been able to get us in any quicker, so we're still set for December 4th. December is looking to be another busy month, and at this point, I'm just hoping we can keep up with the world. Our day to day pace has slowed down quite a lot from our normal, and the world's normal, and it's always a bit daunting for Dave and I to head into a busy schedule at a snail's pace. The world just doesn't agree to slow down with you when your life topples over.

It's a relief to know, at the very least.. that we're normal. We went to another brain injury support group meeting last Thursday. We always find much comfort among people who know exactly where we are and exactly what we're thinking and feeling, to the letter. They call us the infants. I thought, once, that it was because we're so much younger than everyone else, but that's actually not it at all. The most recent injury of the group before us, was eight years ago. The oldest injury is seventeen years. We're smack dab in the middle of year two, and right or wrong, everyone smiles at us fondly as they remember what they themselves were going through in year two.

They make Dave feel better about his being so tired ALL the time, and every single one of them went through the same thing. Charlie assures Dave that he's healing, and that he'll be healing for the rest of his life. I can't tell you how comforting it is to know that even though the doctors tell you you're done healing after one year.. or five years.. that it's a lie. Charlie and Leon and David too, all swear they're still healing years and years later. I like hearing that.

Mary Ellen, and Karol are wives and caregivers, and have walked a mile or two in my shoes. It's one of the few places I can go where we don't walk in and only Dave gets a "Hello, and how are you feeling today?" The support group is one of the few places where I'm seen too. I need that.

Dave has been driving me bonkers the last two weeks. In an effort to prepare him for his DMV over the road drivers test to get his license back, I've been letting him practice driving around our tiny town. He's pretty rusty, and nervous, and the car is new to him, and it's been awhile, and.. a lot has happened since he drove last. It's all I can do not to be a nervous side-seat driver, and just let him go. He's not the only one that's lost confidence in his driving ability, and it's been difficult for the both of us. I haven't made his appointment yet.. but I will when we're ready.

I've been running in circles with Dave's trustee the last month or so. Apparently, she and "the committee" see me not as Dave's wife and life partner.. but his caregiver. Every time we require anything, our motives come into question.

We're thinking about taking a small trip to Toronto in January, to finally see Dave's mother. The last time she saw him, Dave was in a coma. The last time Dave saw his mother, was years ago.. back in a life that we no longer lead. She's been begging for months, and we thought it was about time to get Dave up there. Clearing things through a committee isn't easy though. Especially when they told me I would need to write a report on why it was medically necessary to accompany Dave on the trip. Medically.. necessary. I'm not adjusting well to a lifetime of feeling like Dave's aid, or a tag-along in his life. Somethings gotta give.

We don't have any trip plans set in stone yet. I submitted said letter, itinerary, and budget, and we're waiting to hear whether we're "allowed" to go, or not.

We're looking to be finding a place of our own again come next spring. The trouble is.. we just don't know when or where yet. There's a lot up in the air for us about now, but hopefully things will start gelling together again soon.

I don't know who's still out there reading. I can only imagine that those numbers are pretty small at this point, but whoever is out there.. I just wanted to thank you for your continued love, your support, and your concern for where Dave and I are in our lives right now, and where we're heading. I don't know where this path is taking us.. but I do promise you'll be the first to know, until there's just nothing left to tell. Until next time.. Much Love, Many Hugs, and Good Night to You All.